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Fishing Jokes
Bad, Kind of Bad and Really Bad Fishing Jokes: Two morons rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish. 2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot. 1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?
I Ain’t No Fool There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ''Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!''
The Phone Call
The Trick to Ice Fishing Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"
What do you get if you cross a whale with a computer? Why did the lobster blush? Why did the fish blush? Why are fish smarter than mice? What fish terrorises other fish? What should you do if you find a shark in your bed?
NEVER CHOKE IN A RESTAURANT IN THE SOUTH Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent - she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says,"Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver',
What do you call a pike with a gun? What do you call a Shark with a rocket launcher? What do you call a deaf pike. How do you stick down an envelope under the water? What do sea monsters eat? What can fly under the water? What has antlers and sucks your blood? Little boy what are you fishing for? What do you call a neurotic octopus? What do you call a baby whale that never stops crying? What kind of sea creature eats its victims two by two? What side of a fish has the most scales? What swims and is highly dangerous? What did one sardine say to the other sardine when it saw a submarine? What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? What fish terrorizes other fish? What do you give a seasick elephant? Mother: Have you given the goldfish fresh water today? What fish are musical? Where do ghosts swim in North America? Don't swim in the sea, A shark just bit off my foot! Mummy why can't I go swimming in the sea? What happened to the fishing boat that sank in piranha fish infested waters? What whizzes along a riverbed on three wheels? Where do fish wash? Where do fish keep their money? What is the best fish on ice? Why did the trout cross the road? Where do whales get weighed? What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage? What is the best way to communicate with a fish? What is the best way of stopping a fish from smelling? How do you stop a fish from smelling? What is the fastest fish in the sea? What did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a submarine? If fish lived on land, which country would they live in? What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool? How do you kiss a pike? What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers? What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk? Fly-fisherman's wife: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend" Why do they call him 'River'? What do you get is you cross a rose with a pike? Why did the salmon cross the road? Man: Can I have a fly rod and reel for my son? Why do they call him 'Fish'? How do I avoid infection from biting insects? What is the wettest animal in the world? What lives under the sea and carries a lot of people? Where do you find a crab with no legs? What is yellow and dangerous? What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? |
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